Tuesday, November 07, 2006

“Who wants blueberry pancakes?” The children’s mother Nancy asked. “I do” Charles said. Charles was eight years old and had brown silky hair that ran from his forehead and curled at the bottom of his neck. “Uh oh we’re out of blueberries go get Jordan from upstairs tell him we have to run to the grocery store to get some blueberries.” Charles ran upstairs into Jordan’s rooms he was watching the return of Dracula “we gatta go to the grocery store mom said so hurry up” Charles told Jordan. Jordan was the older son he was 15 had short spiked hair and loved vampire films. Charles ran down stairs!” They hopped in the car and pulled up in the grocery store parking lot. They walked into the grocery store and went to the frozen good isle and grabbed a bag of blueberries. They headed for the checkout counter after the clerk put the blueberries in the bag and rang them up a gentleman by the name of Sylvester introduced himself and offered to carry the bag of blueberries to the car. Sylvesters hair was as black as the night sky with brown eyes. His teeth were white as snow and dressed very handsomely with a white button up collared shirt and blue jeans. When they arrived at their car Nancy told them to hurry in the car while she talked with Sylvester. They were talking for about 10 minutes and then Jordan saw their mom hand Sylvester a sheet of paper with her number on it. As they drove of Charles turned around to see Sylvester but all he saw was a puff of smoke and a bat fly into the night sky. When the smoke cleared there was no Sylvester. The next day the phone rang it was Sylvester so Charles handed it to her mother. The mother agreed to meet him at six p.m. tonight she announced it to the children. At six ‘o’ clock a red Lamborghini rolled up in there driveway the car door opened it was Sylvester "boy is that a handsome car" charles said. Sylvester walked to the door and rang the doorbell Charles answered it “hey my mild mannered man is your mom here” Sylvester asked “she’s upstairs wait here ill get her” Charles ran upstairs and turned around he noticed in the mirror behind Sylvester his image didn’t appear he gasped and ran to get his mom. The mom came down stairs and gave Sylvester a hug “are you ready to go?” Sylvester asked. “Yes let me just grab my purse” Nancy said. They rolled out the drive way and Charles ran upstairs and busted into Jordan’s room “I think Sylvester’s a vampire” Charles said. “What?” “Are you crazy?” “No but at the store I saw him turn into a bat and he didn’t appear in the mirror downstairs!” “So its just your eyes playing tricks on you, now get out of my room.” Charles ran into the his room and turned on the TV and saw a chimerical that said Van Helsing your neighborhood vampire slayer just call this number. Charles grabbed the nearest phone and dialed the number he got an answering machine he left a message saying “Hi im charles im eight and I live at 5749 89th street Salem Massachusetts 66666 and my mom is dating a vampire I need your help my number is (555) 675-8976.” Charles ran into Jordan’s room and said “we need to go and save mom” “She is fine go play with dinosaurs.” “Can we please just go and check on them I wont bother you any more.” “Fine lets go.” They ran into the garage and hoped onto there bikes and rode to the golden platter around the corner. They pulled up to the front of the restraunt and they saw them “see nothing I told you” Jordan said then Charles hopped of his bike and he ran into the restraunt up to Sylvester and said “get away from my mom mister.” And he poked him on the chest. “What?” Sylvester asked. “Allow me to explain,” I said he thinks you’re a vampire.” “Oh I see well I guess I got to take the vampire test huh?” “Ok well here goes nothing.” Sylvester picked up a spoon and said “im going to put it on my nose and if I blow up that means im a vampire” Sylvester placed the spoon on his nose. “I guess im not a vampire” “now go home, im sorry Sylvester” Nancy said. As they were walking out of the restraunt he noticed that Sylvester didn’t appear in the mirror “that’s odd” Jordan mumbled to himself. What is that he didn’t appear in the mirror only vampires don’t appear in mirrors” “so he is a vampire?” “Maybe just keep walking.”As they pulled in there driveway Jordan said “go upstairs im going to save mom” Meanwhile Van Helsing got charles message and was on his way over to his house he finally got there and ran up to the door and knocked hard charles answered and looked up there stood a man in with dirty brown hair combed back and smelt like a dead fish and was wearing a ripped brown coat. “Who are you?” Charles asked “im Van Helsing am I to late no my brother went after him.” “Where are they now?” “At the golden platter Ill save her stay here” “but I want to come with you” no stay here it’s to dangerous” “ok” Van Helsing hopped in his beat up 1994 Buick and raced to the restraunt half way there charles popped out of the back seat and hopped into the front seat “what are you doing here?” “ I wanted to come with you” “I said stay home well im eight I don’t listen and there’s not enough time to drop me off so deal with me.” Jordan finally made it to the restraunt by time he got there he saw his red car come out of the parking lot he followed it to and old club his mom used to go to as a teenager. He snuck in and it was his moms old band who was playing so the mom ran up on the stage excited as a kid on Christmas morning and they asked her to sing a song for old time sake she agreed. Then a strong hand grabbed Jordan by his shoulder it was the club bouncer and he said “you need to leave now” “no you don’t understand that’s my mom” and he pointed on the stage. “Nancy is your mom?” “Ya” I loved her band when I was younger would do anything for her.” “Well you see that guy over there?” he pointed at Sylvester “well he always stalks my mom and it really scares her” “ill handle him” the bouncer said. He ran towards Sylvester grabbed him and threw him outside into the back alley “leave Nancy alone or you will deal with me!” he turned around and saw Jordan’s bike he grabbed it and bent it with his own hands and tore off each tire then he walked back inside the club and asked Nancy to leave the club. As they hopped into his car Jordan ran to the alley to grab his bike “Oh man” he said frustrated so he took off running and saw the car sped away. “Oh my god look it’s the carnival. I love it can we go please?” “Fine” Sylvester said in a frustrated voice. Van helsing and Charles arrived at the restraunt “there not here” charles said “well were else would they go?” then Charles saw the Ferris wheel lights and he said “the carnival.” On there way there they saw Jordan running down the road. “Stop! That’s my brother” he said they stopped and Charles yelled “get in hurry” “Charles what are you doing who is this?” “I’m van helsing your neighborhood vampire slayer im here to save your mom.” Jordan hopped in the car and they arrived at the carnival. They all split up Jordan on his own and Charles and Van Helsing. Meanwhile Nancy Said “lets go on the roller coaster” “I think ill watch” “suit yourself” while he was watching Jordan found him and picked up a rock and threw it at Sylvester. Sylvester turned around and his eyes light red and he let out a loud hiss. Jordan turned around to run but Sylvester mysteriously appeared in front of him. Sylvester grabbed him by his arms and said “I’m going to take your mom to be my queen and your going to be a good boy and go home.” “She loves us and would never leave us for you” Jordan screamed. “I’m afraid she doesn’t have a choice,” Sylvester said and he threw him down. As he turned around and walke dto the exit of the ride he told Nancy were leaving in and evil voice. “But I don’t want to” “To bad” Sylvester said and he grabbed her hand hard. “Look into my eyes” his eyes light up red and he slowly let go of Nancy’s hand. “Go to the car” Sylvester said. “Yes master” Nancy replied. As they walked past Jordan Sylvester gave Jordan an evil smile as if he got a kick out of stealing his mom and walked off. Jordan ran to the hot dog stand where he found Van Helsing. “Let’s go hes taking my mom to his layer” “well where is that?” Van Helsing asked. “How should I know?” Jordan asked. “Well where is a spooky house around here? “ The old Roxbury farm on that hill.” “Perfect. Lets go” as they arrived up the hill they ran up to the door and slowly opened it and saw there mom inside the coffin as white as sugar with an evil look in her eyes they heard Sylvester inciting a bunch of confusing words as if from a foreign language. They silently crept behind coming towards him then he looked over his shoulder with his eyes glowing as red as blood and smiled he pushed his hands out as if he was saying stop then the door shut with a loud bang “No!” Jordan yelled, “Let us in” Charles screamed. Van Helsing reached in his pocket and handed them bolth each a stake and a neclace of garlic. Van Helsing kicked down the door and charged at Sylvester. Sylvester moved out the way and Van Helsing fell into the coffin with Nancy she grabbed him tight and Sylvester leaned over him and continued saying a bunch of confusing words Jordan ran and leaped on his back and shoved the stake as deep as he could Sylvester screamed and turned to ash. Then the mom’s eyes turned back to normal as she let go of Van Helsing. Jordan and Charles ran to their mother and gave her a big hug and kiss. Van Helsing introduced himself and they fell in love and got married.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...
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MJN said...

The story had great detail but it was a little to long and i also liked the similies in the story.

Anonymous said...

I realiy like the hook it made me want to keep on ready I would just like to see a little bit more deatail

kaw said...

I really like it a lot. It had a great begining, middle and ending. It had an awsome hook.

jnh said...

this is good, and i liked the hook but it was so long and it could have ended so many places