Tuesday, November 07, 2006

"Yes!' I said. It halloween and im ready for some candy. as I walked over to my friends house, for him to come with me trick or treating, I heard screaming. "AHH! AHH!" a voice shouted. I finally made to my friends house after a long walk well at least I thought it was. I rang the doorbell; I thought they had really creapy music. He answered. I said "trick or treat!want to join me?" Sure, he said. So we started walking and the lights made it magical. Toilet paper wa flying and it was the perfect night for murder. As we approachedour first house, something just didnt feel right.I got achill down my spine as the hair stood on my neck. I think we should skip this house I said. Nonsense, this looks really creepy! So he went to the door as I satrted walking toward another one; as soon as turned my back, I heard him scream , and he was gone. Frank!, I waited for an answer. Frank!, I yelled again. No answer. I panicked and ran to the park not far from the haunted house. Suddenly, smoke rose around me and theapark went silent. No crickets were heard and no wind was blowing. I got the same that I had by the house. Ten years ago on this very night, said a deep voice. I turned and saw a figure in the smoke. You don't remember me ofcourse because you were too young, I can see him now. "Are you a vampire"? I asked. "Yes, I am here to kill because ten years ago you got me arrested when I tried to drink your brothers blood". I stayed locked in jail for ten years until I broke out because I want revenge for what you did to me". He said "you dont have to do this", I said in fear "I'm afraid I have to". Stop right there, Mr! came a voice from the smoke. The vampire ran away and smoke vanished, it was my brother Adam. "Thaks for saving me" I said. "It was nothing", said Adam feeling proud of himself. "What are you doing out here? "He asked. "I was running away form a vampire that took frank! "Okay that's a little weird. Can I help you." he said. "Sure, but be careful, the vampire is trying to kill me for getting him sent to jail".-Hey guys!" we turned and saw Frank. "We thought you were dead!" I said. "No, far from it. The vampire didn't kmow what to do with me. He thought I was you. He was going to dispose of me but I told him I could be a bad guy too. So he let me live. I know where he is going to try to kill you next.""Where?" asked Adam. "He is going to try to kill you at your house when you get home. O.K., Ihave an idea of what to do. What? said Frank. You're going to tell the vampire that you want to go with him to go kill me because you want to watch me die. Vampire's are immortal so the only thing that could kill him would be a golden knife to the heart. Suddenly Adam blurts out "wait a minute I remember at the holidays mom would take out the golden knife in the silver wear tray. That's it! That's what we need. So your going to bring this golden knife to my house and you're going to stab the vampire in the heart with it. Ok "said Frank." as I was on my homeI was scared to death. I finally reached my house, it was dark so I couldn't see anything. I heard a noise, I said :who's there, but no one answered. I was really scared now. Finally I saw someone approach me , nut I couldn't tell who it was until I heard that same deep voice say "I'mback:, and this time you're not going to get away. He started to come closer and right when we were eye to eye, he collapsed. He had a golden blade stuck from the back all the way to the front side of his body. He was gushing blood.

4 comments:

JEH said...

i liked the dialogue but i think that you should have included alot more descriptions it was difficult to picture it you should have described the vampire.

Anonymous said...

i liked they story but you need more discription of the vanpire and how did you make him go to jail?

Anonymous said...

I liked the story but I think it needs more detail.

Anonymous said...

You need a little more detail to it and i like the beginning when you said what it looked like